Portrait · of · the · Artist · in · the · Current · Moment

Points:

-Today was my first day of tutoring. I think it went fairly well. My kid rocked. And I am still good at 5th grade math.

-I bought a web domain...last sunday. I'm such a bumbling fool when it comes to computer.

-My current plan for the future, is a PhD in English. I want to learn more about Electronic Literature and also research how the look of words on a page influences the experience of the reader. To which most people say: I just read.

-That current plan scares the shit out of me. It means 4-5 more years of school. Spending those, most likely in New York State (near Buffalo or Rochester, is that upstate?). And also prolonging actually entering a real public school classroom for a while. However it does mean: A few more summers at Philmont. Some time to still reflect on teaching and live kind of like a student. Plus, Dr in front of my name. And better academic garb.

YIKES!

I had this strange dream that next fall, I was enrolling at Hampshire College for only one year.
My dorm was this wooden building that for the first half of the dream had no roof and doors that you couldn't lock.
There were also many guitars in this building.

That is all.

Howdy folks,

Registered for classes, and being a senior, got everything I needed: Student Teaching (!!!), Teaching Writing K-12, and Masterpieces of World Cinema (which I might drop, once I see what the work load will be.) Since I signed up for Student Teaching, this means I passed my MTELs, which I was stressing out over.

I also have a great room for next year, a single in one of the newer houses at Lesley. Theoretically, it has Air Conditioning.

Things with the girlfriend are peachy keen!

Life is good!!!

In a few days, I'll be on a plane heading to New Mexico for Spring Break. To go winter camping! It'll be the 3rd time in 3 years I'll be out at Philmont, and I can't wait! And I have basically a day out there on my own in Albuquerque, which should be somewhat fun...

But before that:
-Journal for World Lit II that I haven't done.
-Mid-Term for World II
-Kick-Off event for the summer job
-Oh that's right, holy fuck, the English Subject Area MTELs!

That is all. Go back to your lives!

-Aaron

Relationship status in Facebook: Due to scouts, I have a wide range of people on my facebook friends list. One of them is entering the priesthood, I take it. He is listed as Single. Though clearly this will never change, what would be a more appropriate setting? I don't know enough about Catholic ordination to answer that. Another friend on facebook, recently became a widower, due to his wife passing away. I realize, it is "until death do us part," but is married still the right response? I realize that this isn't the census, so ridiculous concepts such as "It's Complicated" or "In an Open Relationship" exist. Things you probably wouldn't tell your grandmother.

Conversations: You ever just have really good conversations with people: mentors, professors or teachers that just leave you happy throughout the day? Even if they completely contradict what other mentors say? Good, me too.

cheers,
aaron

Classes are finally picking up, which is great. Now I actually have a reason to be stressed. I have a 3 pager due Tuesday, and 4-5 pager due Wednesday, and I think an exam on Wednesday as well.

All of my classes are pretty decent. Except for Psych of Adolescence. All the students in that class are either Adolescents or just crossed that threshold into becoming adults. I think we should all get a waiver for that. It's just kind of a waist of time. Not to mention constant syllabus changes which move assignment due dates closer. Yesterday, (which was an awful day in New England, cold cold rain), we talked about puberty. I forget what exactly the reasoning behind having the entire class repeat the phrase "wet dream" was...but that's Dr. Goode for you.

Things are going really well in departments where they have previously been non-existant.

I figured out what I want to do with my life. There's really no way around it...become a crazy, bizarre English professor. We'll see where it all goes, but that's the path, at least for now.

cheers,

Aaron

Thus far school is pretty okay. So much reading. But classes thus far are good. I keep thinking that in so many of them they should progress is difficulty, ie Progressive Programming, a concept we use at camp, but it's not really the case in school. Sure the complexity is increased, but the analytical skills increase at the same rate. Usually.

(Insert usual stuff about angst, etc etc. That only two three people who read this journal really understand. I just hope it isn't unrequited. Because that would suck. And I'm not getting any younger. Seriously, now, I'm just impatient.)

that's all.
aaron

I've finished my mini-semester course, which really fried my brain, but was a good experience. I'll enter the spring semester being academically ready, no warm up time.

I'm nervous about taking 5 classes and TA-ing, but I think it should be enjoyable, and challenging. Last time I TA-ed, I only took 4 classes (and I ended up getting an incomplete in one of them).

I'm a little angsty. I guess. No, anxious is more like it. It's time to JFDI, that's the only solution to it.

I've realized that life is not typical. There is no set way we are supposed to travel throughout life. I've thought that there is, but I've realized that I'm wrong.

That's about all I've got to say.

I love my family. Each member is equally great in their own ways. So rather than discount any of them, this particular writing is on my mother. She is doing what she loves: teaching. Yes she spent 20 odd years sewing, but she took an opportunity and ran with it. I doubt if you told her this time last year, that she'd be teaching 5 college courses next semester, she'd believe you.

She's occasionally eccentric, but I can discuss literature, teaching and Wes Anderson movies with her.

She wears this now slightly dented bracelet around her wrist and has since I can remember. It has 4 letters engraved on it: JFDI. In polite company it's "Just Finally Do It." Aside from the Nike connotations, it is a good guide. None of us are getting any younger. So whatever you dream is just finally do it. Making plans is cool, but act on those.

And that is my resolution. Act on plans that I make. If I say I'm going to write more, I'm going to write more. If I say I'm going to be a little bit more careful with what I eat, I'm going to do that. I'm happy with who I am, the people I know, and my lifestyle. It's just tweaking and adjustments that need to be made.

JFDI.

cheers,
aaron

Have you ever noticed that as the years go on, you get more practical things for christmas? Sure my toothpaste for dinner shirt that says "what is the meaning of this? oh it's a pronoun," is not 100% useful in the classroom, it does come close.

I got some books of poets that I admire or I am told I should admire. I got short stories books. I got "Why do we gotta do this stuff, Mr. Nehring?" complete with glorious late 80's Dr. Nehring on the back.

And I got a really nifty knit hat straight from the crocheting hooks of my sister! THANKS.

Lit the chalice at the early service at church. I think the poem that I wrote in an hour went over well. I might retool it and submit it for the meditation manuals that the UUA produces every year.

I've got a week left of break, and then my mini-semester class starts. It should be alright. I enjoy and respect the professor, and that is all the really matters. This will be my...third class with her.

And in that week, I'm: grabbing lunch with an old friend, interviewing my junior staffers for next summer, maybe seeing people at parties, and what not, and hopefully revising a lot of poetry.

New Year's Resolution to follow sometime in the future.

cheers,
aaron

Just a final "presentation" and text identification final exam stand in between myself and break. I feel like I should be in pretty good shape this semester, grade wise. Already got an A- in Plays of Shakespeare. I'm expecting a few As, an A-, and probably a B, we'll see how that goes though.

I have no regrets this semester. I didn't go home as often as I did last semester. I hung out with people, and was generally more social than ever before. I finally feel comfortable with the group of friends I have, and with very little exception feel like I need more friends.

Running around the streets of Cambridge at midnight is just wonderful. Impromptu trust falls off a giant snowman, are fantastic. Having tea with chips and nachos at 2am, is just wonderful. Having people that miss you when you are gone, is great.

I hope for a restful, yet short break.

cheers,
aaron

So I've had this gift certificate for a music shop in Porter Square since last Christmas, and I finally spent it. I bought another acoustic guitar. Another Yamaha. I can't justify buying a really expensive guitar, at least for a while. With the gift certificate, it was 29 bucks. So I bought a set of 12 string strings, put the normal strings on my old guitar, and the high strings on the new guitar. This Nashville tuning sounds so unusual, I really like the sound. Okay, guitar geek moment over.

go back to your lives.

Yet another semester is done. All I have is a 2-3 page comparing the setting in 4 stories (seems ridiculously like 7 or 8 grade), integrating tech final "project" (I have to make a jeopardy game and write a final blog entry), World Geography final (I'm pretty sure I can fail the final and still get an A), and an English Lit final.

Shakespeare is done, and it was actually pretty fun, despite it's bizarre format. It's the first class I've taken that I've been willing to do work in. For those who I don't talk to in real life, I (with the help of Andy and Oscar), created a version of A Midsummer Night's Dream that is a folk-ish rock series of 4 songs. It sounds fantastic, I am quite proud of it. It reminded me that I am actually a decent musician, and also years of listening to the Beatles Anthologies actually paid off. I definitely want to do more recording.

I really happy with almost everything in life. I happy to have the friends that I have. I think I'm doing decently well in school. Things to figure out to make life great:
-relationships. it's getting there, I just hate awkwardness.
-what to do about grad school: MFA, MEd, MDiv? Personally I think not getting MFA is not an option, writing poetry, getting a degree for it, and being able to be a professor? I guess college is making me feel like I'm lacking something spiritually, maybe wondering if I ever had something, pushing the desire to be a minister further? I don't know...

cheers,
aaron

I remember doing it in high school and it was fun, posting classes. so here goes:

MW: Psych of Preadolescents and Adolescents
M: Utopia in the 21st century
TTH: English Lit II
T: Teaching English in Grades 8-12
W: World Lit II

throw in being a Teaching Assistant for World Religions, and a winter course: Introduction Mythology and you've got yourself a good semester.

Yes 4 Lit course total, but a boy has to finish up the major that he feels least confident/knowlegdeable about.

Also, a thought: Spring Semester of 09, I want to take travel courses, a weekend course, and a Jan Term class so I can maybe only swing one class during the week, so I could maybe get a job subbing somewhere.

Oh to live the dream!

cheers,
aaron

It seems like all my literature analysis "muscles" have atrophied. I can no longer interpret meaning in text. It really really sucks. Getting a C+ on a paper really hurts.

Prof. Fideler asked me to TA for him. Completely out of left field. Part of me wanted to TA for another education class, but I'll take TA-ing world religions. 3 Lit classes, plus TA-ing plus a Psych class plus an Education class, braindead?

I'm reading poetry at the open mic. I have no idea what yet. I need to revise. But nothing is extremely stellar, yet.

There's this girl. Ugh I hate saying that. I like keeping at least one secret. But how much longer, and what of rejection?

Birthday is in a week. The big 2-1. I'm poor. I won't buy a whole lot of the stuff.

cheers,
aaron

Shaved the beard. I'm not going to count the number of times I'm going to get a comment about it.

I start today growing it back.

It was just really unruly, and it got to the point that my trimming and such was just making it look worse.

So much for the mountain man, Jesus, Serial Killer, Cool cat look. They'll be back in 3 months time.

cheers,
aaron

I know stuff like this is supposed to go away in high school.

The angst around relationships or lack thereof. It's been quite some time since I've been in something even closely resembling a relationship (some, including myself might argue never), so I'm rusty.

And because I like to be cryptic, I only say yes, there is a crush or whatever.

so there's that.

-a